Severe Swine Flu Symptoms: Metal Confusion

Yesterday my new phone was wigging out and making up a bogus time/date. If you're like me, this is a big deal because my cell is my only source for the time. Without my phone I wouldn't know which ways up. It's authority and I abide by what it tells me is truth. If it says its 930 AM Oct 3 2010 then it is 930 AM Oct 3 2010 (when its really 10:05 AM Oct 26, 2009 and I'm late to pick up my roommate from the airport).

The worst part of this story is this: when I reset the date and time I was bewildered at what year it really was. Not for a brief second but for long enough that I had to type in the google search engine "what year is it?" And when the Google Gods told me I didn't go "oh yeah duh," I questioned it all day long. True story.

The moral of this story is: I don't know a lot of things, like what year it is but I do know its Halloween (don't ask me what month that's in) but you can ask me what my pumpkin looks like. It looks like the JOKER.

...or it did look like the Joker but the sun melted his face.

This is a story about how a glass of Coke ruined my life...

These pictures are deceiving. It doesn’t look like a night in which my life fell apart. It actually looks like were having fun. And we were. Got work off, went to the Roots concert with a bunch of friends. It was so crowded and so funny! Then went to the Pie Pizzeria afterwards with everyone. Started off as the “Funnest Night Ever!!!”



But as this picture was being taken, in all the ruckus, my glass of coke got spilled all over my lap and then into my purse. And consequently, on my phone.



For the next week I was dead to the world. You only exist in this cruel, cold modern day world if you have a cell phone. And I did not so I was a phantom ghost, who didn’t mean anything to anyone.



Verizon, who is a terrible company run by terrible people, tricked me into buying a new phone and then they shipped my phone to Seattle. So I ceased to exist for another four days. Saturday night was an all time low for me as I walked around the lonely streets of Provo at 1:30 AM by myself in a thunderstorm trying to get service.



And that is the story of how a glass of coke ruined my life.