Dungeons and Dragons

I was rummaging through my computer and I came across this old photoshop file. I have moments when I think I’m kinda cool, this was NOT one of those moments. Why did I try and turn myself into an Elf?! I am a step away from Dungeons and Dragons, dangerously close. Confession: One of my greatest temptations (and guiltiest) is a strange and undeniable urge to buy those dragon or fairy statues. HOT or NOT?? Definitely NOT!

This should bring all the boys to the yard!

Illusion is Where my Mind has Been Lost

(Excerpts from Chasing the Green Faerie: Riddles and Such)

It’s no secret I am in love with Green Fairies. For my Christmas party I created a character, the French writer, whose imaginary first book was Chasing the Green Fairies: My Time with the Pixies. And of course you know that I’m forcing all my friends into this fairy obsession by asking them to each write a short story under the same Green Fairy title. I dream about fairies, along with hobbits. But to top it all off, the frosting on my fairy flavored (and chocolate) cake, I have decided, after a lot of debating in my head and brainstorming for years, that I want a tattoo. The big dilemma has always been what, it couldn't be just anything. It had to be eternally awesome. But I finally decided! My tattoo will be…you got it! A Green Faerie.

This is what I want. (Some have vetoed the skull.)



Jk-ing ya! I probably will never get it. Or maybe I will and not tell anyone and my shirt will slip up slightly and there She will be, The Green Faerie.

A Spoonful...

It seems maybe I have a complex. Maybe we all do. An unadvertised side effect of modern day is the fear we are barely existing. Barely existing in a system that forces us to memorize nine numbers and deny we have souls (Bright Eyes). We find ways to deal with this dilemma. Myspace and Facebook pages and blogs that scream out “I existed.” Here’s my favorite song, listen it’s playing! This is my sexual orientation and my picture! I took it with my cell phone with my shirt off. Aren’t my muscles big? And I love chocolate! Do you love chocolate? Radical, then comment on my page. Look aren’t we totally existing?

Jokes aside, I have my ways of dealing with it too. A couple months back an older man came into my restaurant all by himself. He was really interesting, as most people who come in by themselves to dine and drink expensive wine are. He was a writer. He told me I should write for an hour everyday, even if it is garbage and it usually is. It’s usually vomit on a page, that’s what I call it. But I have noticed a difference in my writing and how clear my mind gets. I think everyone should write for an hour a day.

The next step: My friends and I are all writing individual short stories. Each story has to be written under the same title: Chasing the Green Fairy. Then we’ll bind them in a book. I think its going to be one of the coolest things I own. I’m really looking forward to the final product.

Moral of the Story: (besides my friends and I are working on the coolest project ever!) Everyone should write for one hour every day. Docs orders (well actually the writer on table 9).

A Postmodern Conversational Murder Mystery

Its very possible that my small (but awesome) Postcard From Mars audience might be "Murder mystery-ied out." Unfortunatley, I am not quite yet. So for the next couple days I'm gonna highlight all the different characters because everybody looked so cool and funny.

Jan Yon Le Pardeau- Writer
Jan comes from an extremely conservative and religious family from the tiny village of
Vichy, France. His parents never allowed him to read anything but the Bible. Dancing, singing and artistic expression of any sort were instruments of Lucifer. Jan ran away from home with a group of traveling gypsies that shared their free-spirited way of life. While traveling he collected many books. This was the beginning of his love affair with literature. With the gypsies he wrote his first novel, “Chasing the Green Fairy: My Time with the Pixies.” And since then he has written many best sellers in France and in the States. Ms. Lily Patricia Noble Sunshine Awesome was so inspired by “Chasing the Green Fairy” that she disappeared for an entire year. When she returned she requested that Jan and her meet and have been friends ever since.

Behavior:
He is crazy, narcotic, and eccentric. He flashes from one mood to the next. He is recovering from substance abuse. He is the pinnacle liberal and randomly goes off on crazy rants about organized religion, especially Islam and other progressive social issues. He occasionally has rage black outs in which he storms off or sits quietly by himself and pouts. But when in a good mood he makes origami cranes for people that actually don’t look anything like cranes.



Ernst Havviener- Aspiring Inventor
Ernst is attending the party as a guest of Mr. Callaway Biggles, a traveling collector of all things bizarre and random. Mr. Biggles is Ernst’s greatest supporter and patron. Ernst will be meeting Ms. Lily Patricia Noble Sunshine Awesome for the first time at the Christmas party. Ernst grew up in Switzerland in the Black Forest. His father was an alchemist who constantly encouraged him to create great inventions. He has since aspired to become the greatest inventor in the “Wuniverse.” He has an inflated idea of his own genius. Above all things Ernst hates Thomas Edison. He is constantly commenting on his resentment towards Edison and his light bulbs. He believes that “there is no happiness where Thomas Edison brings his light bulbs, only darkness!” He wants to create something that he will be remembered for forever but instead he invents things like horse shoes for humans, toilet paper rolls, the marker that makes things invisible, the motorized ice cream cone, and the smokers hat. He also claims that he has created the first cross between a female tiger and a male lion, he has called it the Liger, the new King of the Jungle.

Behavior:
He has a strong and obnoxious Swiss accent. His favorite word is “Wuniverse” He always goes off on crazy rants in German. He is constantly trying to promote his inventions, especially the horse shoe for people which he constantly is forcing people to try on.

Best Christmas Ever?

Christmas Masquerades and Holiday Murders just might have been the coolest thing I’ve ever created and executed. Everybody went completely over the top on their costumes and characters. It was way better than I imagined. Matt and I have the coolest friends.

I was Lily Patricia Noble Sunshine Awesome. I have an eye patch. I was murdered


My whole apartment was lit by candles, we blew up about fifty balloons and old Jazz music was playing. The most exciting part of the night was watching people walk in and seeing the characters we wrote come to life in the most ridiculous way.

Lori was out of control. She was supposed to be really intoxicated and belligerent. She also drew really terrible portraits of everybody. This one was of Jennie.



In the middle of the room Russell, the Islamic extremist Militant Terrorist, prayed to Allah.



Scott won the ski pass for best performance. He was the eccentric and moody French writer. He ran away with the gypsies at a young age and wrote his first book “Chasing the Green Faery: My Time with the Pixies.” He made origami cranes for everyone that looked nothing like cranes.




Kristine was the child prodigy and socially awkward photographer who took all sorts of ridiculous pictures of people. One time she spent ten minutes posing everybody for a group photo then when she had us all perfect she took a picture in the other direction then casually walked off. This was one of her awkward pictures.



Bryce, Ernst the worst inventor in the world, won best costume. He was the murderer and he made everybody try on his horse shoe for humans.



One of the silliest nights.

Check out all the pictures