Teach Me How to Jerk

How about my two new favorite dances....


(go to about 20 seconds in)

Diamond Necklaces that say...BALLA

The other night I checked my voicemail and there was a message from a man named Bill stating that recently I had entered a contest to win a 2007 Lincoln Navigator and that he was looking at MY entry form.

Now I’m no fool. (That statement is not up for debate). But I was raised by a mother who believed anyone and everyone was the next Ted Bundy. Naturally, my first thoughts were this has got to be some kind of scam or this guy wants to feed me to his dogs. If there’s one thing I know in this world it’s never trust a man named Bill. But see, this other part of me, the part that still believes Ground hogs are how we predict the seasons, thought “Dude I just won a Lincoln Navigator!” Maybe some of you have heard but my high school sweetheart “The Dodger” (name accredited to Stephanie Copie) is on life support so if this contest is indeed real it would be a very merry Christmas for me!

So I call Bill. Turns out I’m a finalist. Didn’t realize I was competing but now I’m feeling quite competitive. I will find out at the end of the month if I’m a fool or if I’m a Balla. So folks….stay tuned.



Can’t wait for that to be me smiling with my shiny platinum grill in front of my new getaway car.

Get Stupid

Watch me Crank It
Watch me Roll
Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy



I'm worried Tommies "crunking" is starting to interfere with his schoolwork..

"Ash's Hip Hop 101" Series

I feel like Hip Hop speaks to my soul in deep and powerful ways that are very applicable to my white, middle class life. So I’m starting a new series. Hip Hop Dance Moves 101. Thank your lucky stars. No longer will you stand alone stiffly and awkwardly on the dance floor. Soon you will be able to shake it with the best of them.

Todays Dance Move:

Hyphy (HI-fee) originated in Oakland. Term coined by the rapper Keak Da Sneak. "Hyphy" is to Oakland as "Crunk" is to the Dirty South. An individual is considered to have “gotten hyphy” when they act or dance in an overstated, fast paced, manner of ridiculousness. Also called “getting stupid” or “going dumb.”

Shall we?...Get hyphy




The Father of Hyphy...put your stunner shades on.



You know you're a pro when you've blacked out from convulsing on the floor.

Stick around for the next Dance Move of the week.

Lip Gloss..Keeping Hip Hop Alive

I’m mostly speechless. All I can say is this song is poppin.



They say hip hop is dead, “not so long as it keeps our lips moist and glistening. May hip hop live forever with strawberry sparkles”- Matt Pettit