Roger and the Dodger

I’ve mentioned before the Dodger’s days were numbered. Well the inevitable came when The Dodger left me in a cloud of smoke that poured out of its rattling exhaust pipe as Roger the car salesman (and aspiring photographer) stole it away. It took me all morning to clean out my little Neon. When I opened up my trunk I found all the things I’ve been looking for for years. The junk in my trunk could tell the story of my life.

As the blue smoke cleared from Roger and the Dodger I was left standing next to my new traveling companion, whose trunk would soon tell all my lives stories, now empty and unwritten.

Currently, I feel the Passat is a little mature for my tastes. I almost can’t take myself seriously in it. It has all sorts of crazy doodads I should be super stoked about, like that my engine is as fast as a rocket missile and that these computers on my dash calculate and crunch all sorts of equations things- like how long till I’m on the side of the dusty highway thumbing my way to a gas station. But truthfully, I’m just grateful for the simple things. Simple things such as when somebody outside of my passenger side window wants to talk to me I don’t have to put my car in park, lean across the seat and roll the window down while my arm cramps up.

The time is now yours to share a few thoughts slash memories about The Dodger (or claim any of your belongings that may haven been in its trunk)

Diamond Necklaces that say...BALLA

The other night I checked my voicemail and there was a message from a man named Bill stating that recently I had entered a contest to win a 2007 Lincoln Navigator and that he was looking at MY entry form.

Now I’m no fool. (That statement is not up for debate). But I was raised by a mother who believed anyone and everyone was the next Ted Bundy. Naturally, my first thoughts were this has got to be some kind of scam or this guy wants to feed me to his dogs. If there’s one thing I know in this world it’s never trust a man named Bill. But see, this other part of me, the part that still believes Ground hogs are how we predict the seasons, thought “Dude I just won a Lincoln Navigator!” Maybe some of you have heard but my high school sweetheart “The Dodger” (name accredited to Stephanie Copie) is on life support so if this contest is indeed real it would be a very merry Christmas for me!

So I call Bill. Turns out I’m a finalist. Didn’t realize I was competing but now I’m feeling quite competitive. I will find out at the end of the month if I’m a fool or if I’m a Balla. So folks….stay tuned.



Can’t wait for that to be me smiling with my shiny platinum grill in front of my new getaway car.

Bitter Sweet

It has been the longest and snowiest winter. These last cold months and icy drives to work have made me wish for nothing more than spring. And so it became spring…and now I am having an allergic reaction…to the universe. My face is swollen, my eyes are red and my lungs are asthmatic. It was 79 degrees outside and I had to lock myself in my room like an ogre. And like the ungrateful wretch that I am, I’m wishing for summer. But then again, the old Dodger doesn’t have any A/C, it just blows out hot air and a loud screeching sound accompanies it. And so my life goes.