H1N1 Cruise

Some friends and I found a 4 night Baja Mexico Cruise for only 130 bones! I figured that's about how much it costs for gas and food for four days regularly and Carnival might as well have payed us to board their ship so we all signed up and crossed our fingers we weren't spending four nights on a fishing boat.

Unfortunately, the rendezvous of some poor child and an infamous pig caused something of an epidemic and the cancellation of our Mexico Port. For a mother like my own and a hypochondriac like myself it turned out to be good news.

So we boarded the ship (that's me celebrating that we weren't on a fishing boat)


We went to Catalina instead and drove around the island.

Then we took a boat on the water.

...which was terrifying because we were going para sailing.

I went through with it... See! There I am nothing but dust in the wind. Soaring 335 feet above shark waters. Hurray for terrifying experiences and almost peeing my pants 35 stories high!

And then their was dancing...

And yeah I dropped it like its hot.

Diamond Necklaces that say...BALLA

The other night I checked my voicemail and there was a message from a man named Bill stating that recently I had entered a contest to win a 2007 Lincoln Navigator and that he was looking at MY entry form.

Now I’m no fool. (That statement is not up for debate). But I was raised by a mother who believed anyone and everyone was the next Ted Bundy. Naturally, my first thoughts were this has got to be some kind of scam or this guy wants to feed me to his dogs. If there’s one thing I know in this world it’s never trust a man named Bill. But see, this other part of me, the part that still believes Ground hogs are how we predict the seasons, thought “Dude I just won a Lincoln Navigator!” Maybe some of you have heard but my high school sweetheart “The Dodger” (name accredited to Stephanie Copie) is on life support so if this contest is indeed real it would be a very merry Christmas for me!

So I call Bill. Turns out I’m a finalist. Didn’t realize I was competing but now I’m feeling quite competitive. I will find out at the end of the month if I’m a fool or if I’m a Balla. So folks….stay tuned.



Can’t wait for that to be me smiling with my shiny platinum grill in front of my new getaway car.

My Christmas Wishlist: For A Little Understanding Here

My parental unit was wondering what I was asking Santa for this year. So I concocted a wishlist for them. Like I said before I’m a girl of humble needs. I don’t ask for much in this bankrupt world. Just cloths on my back, food and shelter, maybe a nice platinum grill for my top teeth, some foie gras and an artisan cheese basket, a little sashimi and those nice warm little hand towels. I listed some things off for my mom then the conversation ended like this:

Me: “What I really want is just some comic books. It’s what I spend most of my money on.”

Mom: “Comic Books?”

Me: “Yeah like anything DC, Batman, Frank Miller, Alan Moore”

Mom: “We’re not getting you comic books. That’s….geeky.”

Silence.

In defense of all the four- eyed, acne plagued losers in basements across America, comic books are cool. These kids are not just a bunch of virgins salivating over some half naked sketch called Catwoman. They’re not! (hesitate) And even if they are, they’ll soon be the guys who write or sketch the next great Joker story and in turn get paid lots of money when it gets made into a movie.

In my defense, underneath the violence of comic book stories is a sort of prevailing morality. The superhero world is a world of absolute values. What was good was never doubted and what was evil suffered a fitting punishment. It’s our modern bible. A glimpse of a world of absolute justice, where morality worked the way it was meant to. I’m sorry that I want to live in a world of superheroes, instead of this day in age when the cowards hide in the shadows.

Deion and All His Wisdom

I went home to Seattle for my Mom’s birthday. My Mom seems to act more youthful with age. While I was home she showed me her new fav trashy reality show. Deion and Pilar. As in Prime Time Deion Sanders. I don't watch much TV, can't believe I've been missing such quality programming. It's pretty stinking funny. The silliest thing about it is that Deion drives around his house in one of those powered wheel chairs for seniors. I think that’s pretty great. He’s inspired my investing in a powered wheel chair/scooter for seniors.

The Monkey Circus

Like most things, I have procrastinated the date of my graduation yet another 3 months on top of the 2 years of its original expected date. It seems like a long pregnancy, and I just want the thing to be out! Knowing my Mom and Dad will be reading this post I must honestly admit, graduation seems very anticlimactic at this point. And I have thought of various ways to make the whole pregnancy just go away. Including speeches such as this:

“Mom, graduation is just another hoop we light on fire and jump through to make some people feel more important than other people. It’s a circus and I don’t want to be the monkey you come and clap for.”

I doubt my parents would buy it. Which is good because it doesn’t make any sense, yet poetic right? Though a week ago, April 25th, the day I was supposed to graduate, the herds of monkeys in matching garb did look pretty silly.

My mom said in one of our many conversations about graduation, “It’s not for you! Graduation’s not for you! It’s for your senile old Mother!”

FINE!

Single Cool Female Seeks Single Cool Male

Spent Easter Sunday driving around San Diego Bay as my Mom showed me places for my wedding. My Mother is so subtle in suggesting its time to get married. Found a nice little Beach House next to the Hotel Coronado. (It's not fancy but neither am I, as I sit here typing this in my basketball shorts and Batgirl shirt).

Location…Check!
Groom…uh er

Does anybody in my blogging audience want to volunteer themselves as a sacrifice? It's for a good cause, so people stop asking why I’m not married. I promise we don’t even have to live with each other or talk to each other, we just have to have a reception, at this place!







My family might be willing to pay. Please contact me if interested :)

Blast from the Past

I was watching a band play up at the Owl Bar this weekend and this guy across from me catches my eye. For some reason I feel like I know him but I can’t figure out how. My friend who knows him tells me he used to be on the 80’s TV series China Beach. Then I freaked out and realized he was Boonie, the surfer bum, Brian Wimmer! I got so excited because I grew up on China Beach and had the biggest crush on Boonie. I’m positive nobody my age or even ten years older has ever heard of China Beach. But there I was sitting across from a guy who shaped my childhood in the same way Sesame Street shaped normal children's childhoods.



This series was the best. Emmy winning even. Every episode was a mini movie, as close as TV came to film. I remember watching China Beach with my mom when I was a little kid. I’m sure I was too young to understand what it was about, but I loved it. I still can remember this episode perfectly.

For all you China Beach fans and for my mom who was the biggest fan Click Here

(sorry I can’t embed the video you’ll have to go to the link)

Funny Story...

My family and I went Kauai for Christmas. After we got back my mom was reading US weekly and there was a section of all the celebrities that went to Hawaii for Christmas. She sees that Sarah Jessica Parker (my mom loves Sex and the City), her husband Matthew Broderick and their son were in Kauai the same time as us. So she shows my dad. My dad, who could care less about celeb gossip, looks at the picture of the kid and is like “I saw that kid!” So my mom looks at the caption and realizes they were at the same beach the same day as us. Apparently, we were just chilling right next to SJP and the fam! My dad was watching that kid play in the sand all afternoon.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Though my heart and arteries may think otherwise, I’m grateful for this land of corpulence. Though, in obesity, Americans may be pouring out of their designer clothing, I'm grateful we’re not hungry in America. My cupboards are always stocked, my belly is always full and my tastebuds are always happy. I’m grateful for milk and honey and when feeling sinful a chocolate truffle cake.

For technology. That mechanical doors really do open like we trust they will and for cruise control so my foot can rest till it has arrived at its desired destination.

For virtual connections. So I can keep tabs on all the people in my life, whether they know it or not.

For simple pleasures. Coca-Cola. Lunch dates. Good movies. Reuniting with old friends. An album I can play from start to finish a thousand times. And chocolate, not the waxy kind but the velvety kind that coats my mouth and makes me happy.

I’ve said this before, I’m thankful for good friends who like to act silly and live silly.

I’m grateful for a Mom and Dad, who still both equally harass and nag me [hi Mom and Dad] and still pay my cell my phone bill. I’m grateful for a family that I can be proud of, and am.

Happy Thanksgiving!