This City Saved My Dying Soul

We wandered through the desert all night, so when we finally got to the city Friday morning we fit in perfectly with all the stinky, homeless people in this cool park Drew wanted to show me we both later learned was…Golden Gate Park.

Homeless people love me, even when I'm well bathed and don't stink like stale fast food and public bathroom handsoap.

This guy told us he was Betty from the Grateful Dead. He also said he couldn’t be joining us at our concert because he would be busy shoveling coal on the fire.





We spent a lot of time exploring cute vintage clothing shops. I don’t know who Ronnie Milsap is but it was quite the temptation for me to buy this shirt.


Our asi frio boat ride around the bay.

And then we pretended we were models



You can check THESE pics out too

50th Wedding Anniversary

I went to San Diego for my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary a couple weeks back, and it made for an entertaining trip. Plus I came home with some pretty great footage.

My grandma dancing...


My Grandpa singing...


and dancing..

I Couldn't Resist...

Today is the celebration of my Father’s birth. Truth be told, I can’t keep track of how old he’s getting. I know my life is nearly over so he’s got to be getting up there. He may look really scary, but this big Hawaiian guy's pretty harmless. He’s also my number one fan and seems to always support everything I do, even if it's absurd. Happy Birthday Dad, here’s a little birthday gift from your daughter.



[This video was taken at my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary. Dancers: Grandpa, Grandma and Dad]

This is Really Happening...

August 22nd will be a day to remember. Going to "Outside Lands" enormous music festival in San Francisco. Radiohead, Beck and then all these guys will be playing. Radiohead will be the first night show at Golden Gate Park ever!

I'm excited to see this:

This is a story about how a glass of Coke ruined my life...

These pictures are deceiving. It doesn’t look like a night in which my life fell apart. It actually looks like were having fun. And we were. Got work off, went to the Roots concert with a bunch of friends. It was so crowded and so funny! Then went to the Pie Pizzeria afterwards with everyone. Started off as the “Funnest Night Ever!!!”



But as this picture was being taken, in all the ruckus, my glass of coke got spilled all over my lap and then into my purse. And consequently, on my phone.



For the next week I was dead to the world. You only exist in this cruel, cold modern day world if you have a cell phone. And I did not so I was a phantom ghost, who didn’t mean anything to anyone.



Verizon, who is a terrible company run by terrible people, tricked me into buying a new phone and then they shipped my phone to Seattle. So I ceased to exist for another four days. Saturday night was an all time low for me as I walked around the lonely streets of Provo at 1:30 AM by myself in a thunderstorm trying to get service.



And that is the story of how a glass of coke ruined my life.

Why So Serious??

All week I’ve been dreaming of costumed super heroes and Heath Ledger. This morning at 9 AM I finally got to watch The Dark Knight at the IMAX. It changed my life. Only one regret, that I didn’t get my friend Stephanie’s 8 yr. old boy Batman costume to wear.



Reasons why this movie was incredible:

1. Heath Ledger. Top Five Favorite performances ever.
2. Favorite line “Either you die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.” (The foreshadowing of Harvey Dent.)
3. The relationship between The Joker and Batman. One couldn’t exist without the other. They are social outcasts. Neither could ever live normal lives and that is the great sacrifice Batman makes.
4. The preview for “Watchmen.” The greatest graphic novel ever written. It’s the only graphic novel in “Time Magazine Top 100 Novels.” Can’t wait for this movie!

Watchmen Trailer http://teaser-trailer.com
by teaser-trailer

Am I the geekiest person you know?

It's a Small Crime...And I've Got No Excuse

No, I realize its a crime posting so many Youtube videos of myself (and then linking my Youtube page in the same sentence). And I really don't have an excuse...uh but here's another one? My friend Drew suggested we cover this:



Not only is Drew incredibly talented but he's stinking funny. Check out his new bloggy blog.

The Life & Times of Harvey Ralph

Mr. Shiny Shoes

I like golf, because I’m an old man. But I don’t really fit into the golfing crowd. I realized this at the driving range recently. I stroll in wearing flip flops and my “Obama for your Mama” T-shirt. I’m dragging my battered golf bag from 1981 past these white, rich Utah Valley republicans strutting around in their collared Tees and shiny shoes, drinking vitamin water. They get a look at my Tee and one guy goes “heh Obama” accompanied by a grumpy old man snort. I arrive at my little golf turf cubical and start swinging away. I have my ear phones in and I’m rocking out to electronic scream-face music, occasionally singing out loud. Since it was the season’s first attempt at golfing, things were surely going to get ugly. But I don’t have much patience for sucking. So I have a rage black out. I kept whacking my clubs into the ground, possibly grumbling profanities. I can’t remember though I blacked out. It would’ve been a funny site if I could’ve been watching from a bush. I just don’t fit the golfers mold.

But what my point of all this hibbity-jibbity hee-haw is, is that I bought a new golf bag today and its pretty slick. That’s really all I wanted to say. I can’t wait for Mr. Shiny Shoes to see me roll by with my new bag.

The Good Times Are Killing Me - M.M.

A pre-fourth celebration. Turned out to be all-time. Lots of funny stories, including one in which I was trying to find something in one of the tents and heard a threatening growl. I took off running like a frantic woman. Screaming “Bear! Bear!” running for my life! I've never run faster. I ran for about 100 yards. Everybody jumped up. “Bear! There’s a Bear! I heard it growl!” Then Brett was like, “It was my dog.” And then I felt stupid.

Ghosts of Overdoses…Not Dust…Blog Entries (and you can die from that too)

Whoa talk about an anxiety attack. No internet for over two weeks. And my cell phone died one day too. I can barely remember the days before cell phones. I can barely remember the days before blogs. I really wish I could though. I should re-prioritize my life, live the hippy dream like I’ve always wanted. Move to India with just a guitar, camera, and a…rug? (Hey Drew). But for now I’m going to overdose the virtual world with blog entrys, Morrison style. And I apologize, but I have a lot of worthless things to litter the world wide web with. Like this…

Sick Day and Modest Mouse

I was on my death bed yesterday. And today I felt like moping around. This is what I accomplished. As you can tell brushing my hair wasn't one of the days accomplishments. SORRY!



This song is cool cuz:
1. This band is from Seattle
2. It says "eunichs"
3. Favorite line: "Henry you dance like a wooden Indian" like my friend Steph

AND...
Yeah I'm wearing a Transformers shirt

Dungeons and Dragons

I was rummaging through my computer and I came across this old photoshop file. I have moments when I think I’m kinda cool, this was NOT one of those moments. Why did I try and turn myself into an Elf?! I am a step away from Dungeons and Dragons, dangerously close. Confession: One of my greatest temptations (and guiltiest) is a strange and undeniable urge to buy those dragon or fairy statues. HOT or NOT?? Definitely NOT!

This should bring all the boys to the yard!

Deion and All His Wisdom

I went home to Seattle for my Mom’s birthday. My Mom seems to act more youthful with age. While I was home she showed me her new fav trashy reality show. Deion and Pilar. As in Prime Time Deion Sanders. I don't watch much TV, can't believe I've been missing such quality programming. It's pretty stinking funny. The silliest thing about it is that Deion drives around his house in one of those powered wheel chairs for seniors. I think that’s pretty great. He’s inspired my investing in a powered wheel chair/scooter for seniors.

Gypsy Music

My friend, Joe, showed me this song. I told him I loved it because it sounded like gypsy music. He was like, "no". I guess Joe doesn't like gypsy music, or calling it that somehow soiled its artistic, musical and political significance. Anyways, I think this song is really cool...And that it sounds like gypsy music.

All them vulgar kings on their dirty thrones....

Things We Lost in the Fire

Confession: I weeped like a baby when I watched this movie. Weeped. I could have just been hormonal. Watching the preview made me cry again. PLEASE! Somebody else watch this movie and tell me they weeped too.



On a serious note: [I hate getting this way on my blog, but I can't help it! I'm still crying! I'm sorry.] This movie exposed that feeling of inadequacy. Inadequacy in our ability to find strength to cope with overwhelming trials. Sadness, loss, loneliness, addiction. But it also inspired strength to deal with things we thought we couldn't, one day at a time.

Putting Home Makeover Reality Shows into Action...SEE!

I don’t usually disappear from the comfort of my virtual world (which is sad to say) but for a week I got a life. Don’t be mad, be proud. I’ve been busy moving and fixing up the cute little house I’m moving into. It’s my friend Lacy’s home. She has completely redone the upstairs and it’s stinking cute. It has a backyard, a fire pit, a hot tub, and trees!! I miss trees. I miss grass! I’m moving into the basement. So I spent all week ripping out carpet, stripping paint, sanding eternally and soon I will start staining. To be honest I’m not really made for this kind of stuff. Home depot and power tools generally scare me. And my body isn’t really built for hard labor. Because I didn't somehow kill myself I’m thinking I’m pretty cool right now.

Next project is with that retro wood paneling and the old halogen light. Any suggestions?

"Comic Books, There Not Just For Kids, Ryan. There Not!" Seth Cohen

My most recent indulgence has been comic books. I have spent a lot of money and time on this new addiction. Batman is my favorite and anything Frank Miller, like Sin City. (After I say this you will think "Get a life," but here goes anyway.) I have been creating my own Sin City style comic art out of my pictures. Cool? Yeah, well cool never was my style.









Why am I too old for comic books? Why can't I imagine a world with superheroes?

Word of the Month: Moderation

This is similar to the manner in which I have lived my life, (observed and spoken so eloquently by Steinbeck in Travels with Charley):

“For I have always lived violently, drunk hugely, eaten too much or not at all, slept around the clock or missed two nights of sleeping, worked too hard and too long in glory, or slobbed for a time in utter laziness. I've lifted, pulled, chopped, climbed, made love with joy and taken my hangovers as a consequence, not as a punishment.” (Steinbeck)

Though it is a poetic and romantic way to live our all-too short lives, I decided some modifications should be made because it's not a mentally or physically healthy way to live a life.



Moderation. The word of the past month. I have forgotten the meaning of that word. I have forgotten how to practice the definition of that word. So in an attempt at practicing my word of the month I have made some goals.

Daily vitamin
Joined 24 HR Fitness
Walk more places
No more Coke
No more fast food
Get up earlier-and by that I mean nine or ten
More Fruit and water
And all unhealthy things I love that are not on this list must be consumed with moderation

The Monkey Circus

Like most things, I have procrastinated the date of my graduation yet another 3 months on top of the 2 years of its original expected date. It seems like a long pregnancy, and I just want the thing to be out! Knowing my Mom and Dad will be reading this post I must honestly admit, graduation seems very anticlimactic at this point. And I have thought of various ways to make the whole pregnancy just go away. Including speeches such as this:

“Mom, graduation is just another hoop we light on fire and jump through to make some people feel more important than other people. It’s a circus and I don’t want to be the monkey you come and clap for.”

I doubt my parents would buy it. Which is good because it doesn’t make any sense, yet poetic right? Though a week ago, April 25th, the day I was supposed to graduate, the herds of monkeys in matching garb did look pretty silly.

My mom said in one of our many conversations about graduation, “It’s not for you! Graduation’s not for you! It’s for your senile old Mother!”

FINE!

Bitter Sweet

It has been the longest and snowiest winter. These last cold months and icy drives to work have made me wish for nothing more than spring. And so it became spring…and now I am having an allergic reaction…to the universe. My face is swollen, my eyes are red and my lungs are asthmatic. It was 79 degrees outside and I had to lock myself in my room like an ogre. And like the ungrateful wretch that I am, I’m wishing for summer. But then again, the old Dodger doesn’t have any A/C, it just blows out hot air and a loud screeching sound accompanies it. And so my life goes.

Yippy!! I Got to the Castle!!

This may explain my past Halo addiction. And possibly my spazmatic behavior.



PS I think this was me when I was around six-ish.

My Favorite Married People

Yes. It is true that Lori and Devin got married in August. And yes, it is April. But I finally finished their wedding. This is the last third of the video. Thought I’d post it so everyone could take a gander.

It is also true that Lori and Devin are my favorite and I’m in love with them. Happiest wedding ever! Look marriage isn't so scary after all.

Sorry its so small. My apologies. I'll try and post the next two tonight.

Click To Play

American Teen

High School usually seems like it was million years ago, but some days it doesn’t seem that far away at all. “American Teen” was my favorite film I saw this year at the Sundance Film Festival. I was nervous it was going to look too much like MTV’s high school reality shows. But it was totally unique. It seemed like a movie. The characters were so natural. The resolutions were so perfect. And they all were so cool I wanted to be their friends. I was told they were all at a party I went to but I didn’t see the movie till the next day! Too bad because I think me and the “rebel” would have been best friends. After watching this, it felt like high school wasn’t that far away at all.



So question is: Who were you?

Comes out in select theatres (probably only Broadway Theatres in Salt Lake) July 25th

Nothing Works Out the Way it Gets Planned

[In addition to the previous post]

I saw Palomino and Band of Annuals tonight. It was great. Check this song out: Butter For Burns.

Decades: And all Its Trickery

Vintage clothing stores are a dangerous thing. They get you thinking you need things you don’t really need. As soon as you walk in it seems so necessary to own a Napoleon hat and a jacket with metallic epaulettes instead of an A/C that doesn’t squeal and blow hot air.

I went to Decades up in Salt Lake the other day. Two hours later I had found the kimono of my dreams! And my friend had found the suit and vest of his dreams- it dated 1940’s. We both were positive our outfits were absolutely functional and we were sure we would wear them all the time!

Instead, he walked out with a pair of old cowboy boots and I left with an old faded cowboy belt. But I still envision myself in that kimono and I can barely stand the temptation.