Best of Fest 2008!!

Pretty much I have been received into the celebrity circle. Pretty much I walk on the red carpet now. And pretty much I know everyone in Hollywood. I danced with Chandler (Matthew Perry) against his will. He and his girlfriend didn’t like that very much. Tried talking to Luke Wilson, apparently he’s gay, because he talked to my friend Garrit instead. Clearly gay. I talked to Meg Ryan. I asked her, “Can I get this out of your way?” as I cleared her dinner plate.



Matt, Luke, Meg (we’re on a first name basis) Emily Blunt, Amy Redford, Rachel from Saturday night live, Jeff Lebowsky ,the owner of Lions Gate Entertainment, producers, directors, distributors.



They’re like Ash, Ash come party with us. I’m busy but I’m like ok. For the first time in my life I held V.I.P status. Actually not really at all but I was getting snuck in back door to V.I.P parties and I think I’m gonna hold on to the bragging rights to that one for a while.



Saw a couple films. One of my new friends got me into one of the bigger films he is selling called American Teen. It was so eternally awesome. Look for it this summer. Turned out to be the funnest week.

Boarding at the Dance

D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R is what is spelled when a group goes snowboarding that doesn't know how to snowboard. At one point Lori was just dangling from the ski lift, we were all screaming slash laughing as we pulled her to safety. And Matt was M.I.A for about 45 minutes. Apparently he was lost on the mountain then stuck in the ski slalom section where a group of kids and instructors of some ski school were screaming at him while he was stuck in the snow. The day made for good stories and was really fun slash funny slash painful slash awesome.

Jimmy and Monica...Myheritage is Legit

Spent an afternoon laughing alone in my room, while my roommates were confused and curious, at this website called myhertiage.com. It has a generator that lets you upload pictures and it will tell you which celebrities you look most like.

And the results…



I look like Adriana Lima because of our huge front teeth...same with Julia Roberts. It gets better..










It is true I have too much time. Honest to blog, I have hobbies.

Illusion is Where my Mind has Been Lost

(Excerpts from Chasing the Green Faerie: Riddles and Such)

It’s no secret I am in love with Green Fairies. For my Christmas party I created a character, the French writer, whose imaginary first book was Chasing the Green Fairies: My Time with the Pixies. And of course you know that I’m forcing all my friends into this fairy obsession by asking them to each write a short story under the same Green Fairy title. I dream about fairies, along with hobbits. But to top it all off, the frosting on my fairy flavored (and chocolate) cake, I have decided, after a lot of debating in my head and brainstorming for years, that I want a tattoo. The big dilemma has always been what, it couldn't be just anything. It had to be eternally awesome. But I finally decided! My tattoo will be…you got it! A Green Faerie.

This is what I want. (Some have vetoed the skull.)



Jk-ing ya! I probably will never get it. Or maybe I will and not tell anyone and my shirt will slip up slightly and there She will be, The Green Faerie.

A Spoonful...

It seems maybe I have a complex. Maybe we all do. An unadvertised side effect of modern day is the fear we are barely existing. Barely existing in a system that forces us to memorize nine numbers and deny we have souls (Bright Eyes). We find ways to deal with this dilemma. Myspace and Facebook pages and blogs that scream out “I existed.” Here’s my favorite song, listen it’s playing! This is my sexual orientation and my picture! I took it with my cell phone with my shirt off. Aren’t my muscles big? And I love chocolate! Do you love chocolate? Radical, then comment on my page. Look aren’t we totally existing?

Jokes aside, I have my ways of dealing with it too. A couple months back an older man came into my restaurant all by himself. He was really interesting, as most people who come in by themselves to dine and drink expensive wine are. He was a writer. He told me I should write for an hour everyday, even if it is garbage and it usually is. It’s usually vomit on a page, that’s what I call it. But I have noticed a difference in my writing and how clear my mind gets. I think everyone should write for an hour a day.

The next step: My friends and I are all writing individual short stories. Each story has to be written under the same title: Chasing the Green Fairy. Then we’ll bind them in a book. I think its going to be one of the coolest things I own. I’m really looking forward to the final product.

Moral of the Story: (besides my friends and I are working on the coolest project ever!) Everyone should write for one hour every day. Docs orders (well actually the writer on table 9).

Dream Places

Went to Kauai for Christmas and it was awesome. I think Kauai is the most beautiful place on the earth.



Kauai is one of the few islands that have fought the tourist plague that has washed through other quaint Hawaiian towns and replaced them with ABC stores, coconut bras and hula girl bobble head dolls.
Side thought: Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns.


Hananlei, a stubborn town that has fought the plague as well. It seems to been winning, but money talks and always wins. I’m dreading the day the quaintness of Hanalei meets the ogre of tourism.



In Hanalei Waterfalls spring up at random down the green canyon walls into taro field valleys. Floods close rivers and bridges and nobody cares. And when it rains its stays 80 degrees.



A hammock, a camera, a notebook and pineapple juice is all I’d need for the rest of my life in Hanalei. I could go there and never come back.

People are lazy here, and why not? Words in sentences are taken out if they are not absolutely necessary. Hawaiians have taken out the western mans need for excess and corpulence. It’s called pigeon. One of the few things the Hawaiians hold on to.

In Kauai there are more roosters than people. They are beautifully colored like the island.



Even the dirt is deep red. And it paints everything it touches like my shoes. My Hawaiian souvenir: my red, once white, shoes. With all the hurricanes the locals build their houses on stilts. It looks like a circus of houses balancing carefully.






Kauai is a treat for my senses. Fresh fruit from the tropical garden. I had banana macadamian nut pancakes with coconut syrup almost every morning and pineapple juice. Everything is spectacular and breathe taking. Summer dresses are always in style and sweaters are always out. And it rains and washes the red dusty roads and the trade winds chase the sun westward. Kauai is a dream place not just because of its price tag.



Last thought:
There are four ways to make something (a place) yours. Or I guess, four ways men feel like a place can become more than a place to them:

1. Build on it, fence it off, put a flag in the dirt (modern man, western mans mind set)
2. Paint it, photograph it (the artist)
3. Hike it- defeat it in some way
4. There is one last one but I wont say what it is here

I tried to make Kauai mine by taking an excess of pictures check it out.

My Kauai Photos